Action:
Bela, the audience is waiting for you. Isabela, la audiencia está esperándote.
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Coming soon to a theater near you, in neither of her
people’s tongues, the inspirational tale of a
down-on-her-luck girl trying her best to succeed!
Watch her get an
education! Watch her make friends! Watch her be one
of the good ones! Watch her
fail. Look at her on stage, wearing those things
that don’t belong to her. All dressed up in a ball
gown and a headdress, trying to dance the jarabe
tapatío. The weight’s crushing
her. Tickets on sale now!
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I am me.
----------------------------
Just kidding.
----------------------------
Kindly seat yourself in the next aisle over, the protest
will begin momentarily.
Look, see, up there on the stage! That girl with a
hundred names is putting on her
makeup – oh, no excuse me! I believe the scientific
term is war paint.
----------------------------
No, I was not born on the rez. No, I cannot speak
Spanish. No, I do not think I’m surviving.
----------------------------
Obediently, I follow the script. I switch out faces.
They believe each one. I make them believe. On stage, I’m
powerful.
----------------------------
Q&A with the fabulous actress Ms. Isabella no – Esahvela
– no Bela, oh whoever the hell she is.
Right. Hello, all! I’m me. I like red lips and books
and walking with a sway in my hips. I like food
simple, just meat and white rice, please. I build sets in my
spare
time, made out of cardboard and your eyes. I will always
get cast as the lead.
----------------------------
Underneath all this rage, there is at least one
truth: I want the audience to love me and I want the audience to hate me.
----------------------------
Viewer discretion is advised. Nobody gives a shit
about the actress.
----------------------------
Wait, don't go. The story's not over yet. You’ll never think I’m Indian enough, or
Mexican enough or
x enough. “I am me” cannot be proved to you. I understand now.
----------------------------
Yes, you’ve crucified me on this stage. Yes, I’m
pulling the nails out. Yes, I’m going to use them for my bridge.
----------------------------
Zagaswe’iwe. Girl with a hundred names takes a bow
and closes the curtains.
Bela, it is easy to see why you were so outspoken in Thursday's discussion here in your writing. You share your story here, as Manalasan shared the story of Alden, with the various contrasts within his life and apartment. In class, however, you discussed how these cultural spheres do not have to take the shape of an "either/or". They do not have to be dichotomous, but rather, in most cases take form as a "both" creating a whole individual. Though, that is not to say that these different internal identities do not conflict at times. Both you and Manalasan have made that distinction clear. But I agree with you that one does not have to choose any one identity at a certain time. Instead we can be both or all of our cultures at once, for it is from those cultures that we were made into who we are today. Good work, good discussion, and beautiful writing. Keep it up :)
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