Although my own answer to that question is still unclear, I identify with a
lot of the sentiments of the characters in the readings. In the Manalansan
piece, Roberto talks about how the people back in his home country think that
he is living the dream, and do not realize the daily drama that he has to face.
I feel exactly the same way. I always have to stifle a laugh when I watch people
at home reacting to my saying that I go to school in the United States. The way
their eyes and smiles widen indicates the awe with which they view the concept
of living overseas, not thinking for a moment that I have different struggles
to face, though they are different from the ones I would be facing at home.
Struggles like trying to hold on to my accent but having to change the way I say
certain words because people won’t understand me if I don’t, or dealing with
the fact that no one here can pronounce my name. I must stay true to my
Zimbabwean self in a place where the culture, mindset, focus and ideals of everyone
around me are so different, and yet, I must make friends and understand those
around me in order to survive and succeed. The most difficult quotidian struggle
for me for me has been being away from “blood kinships and cultural ties”
(Roque Ramírez, 162) for as long as I have, but I have grown so much and believe that I will
be able to give so much to my country in the end, that it will all be worth it.
Friday, April 25, 2014
RP2: That word doesn't apply to me!
Every time I read the word “diaspora” in this week’s readings,
I cringed. The first time someone ever referred to me as an African in the diaspora,
I remember feeling resentful. I mean I reeeeally took offense. Growing up in
Zimbabwe, things were not always perfect, and as the economy went downhill, more
and more people left in search of greener pastures, but we stayed. In my eyes
there were no two people more patriotic than my parents. For them, leaving
Zimbabwe was out of the question. No matter how bad it got, they always found a
way to make it work. As a result, the word “diaspora” had negative connotations
in my mind. I associated it with abandonment and the lack of patriotism,
because for me, people in the diaspora had no intention of going back home and
were now breaking their backs to better some other country’s economy instead of
staying and fixing their own (I was a very opinionated teenager). So when the
word was used to refer to me, I was shaken right down to my core. I remember
laughing right after it was said. That “I can’t believe you actually said that
to my face” laugh. I also remember how silent I was after I finished laughing,
but how loud the thoughts racing through my head were. “You won’t find anyone
more patriotic than I am! My heart beats for my country and I have every
intention of going home after graduation. I don’t even live here! I live in
Zimbabwe. I go home after every break don’t I? I’m just here to get an
education so that I have the skills to remedy the situation back home, so that
word shouldn’t apply to me. It DOESN’T apply to me! ...does it?”
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Chido! Thank you for sharing your story, it definitely shed light upon the word "diaspora" and the different connotations that can be associated with it. To be honest, I had never heard the term before this class and I find your reaction and feelings towards its implications very interesting. I guess my first response to your post is that regardless of "official" definitions or ideas applied to a word, YOU are the only one able to create your identity and all the terms associated with it. If you do not feel diasporic, then you are not and should not be considered such. Even if you are physically separated from your home, you still may very well be emotionally and spiritually connected, which is arguably a stronger way to connect anyway. I think this is a point you were trying to get at in your response, but I wanted to reemphasize your unquestionable authority of your own identity.
ReplyDeleteFurther, I think Manhalansan's idea of "globalization and transnationalism" can be applied here in a certain way. The world has a general perception of diaspora and those who "should" encompass that word, just as it has a preconceived idea of the term "queer". However, when viewed more carefully and with more detail, perhaps with focus on the "quotidian," it can be observed that there is much more to a term than its global interpretation. Though someone who knows that you are from Zimbabwe and currently studying in the United States may initially apply the word "diaspora" to you, they must also understand the details of your specific and unique story, feelings, and thoughts before the application of this word or lack there of can be done truthfully.