(inspired by Manalansan's idea of Quotidian Struggles)
I wake up, I go about my daily hygiene process and go about my day.
What to wear today.
I choose what I wear based on my mood.
Sometimes, whether others have seen me in an outfit or not.
Have I worn this in Michigan?
I’ll change my hairstyle from the last time I wore this dress.
Is it all for me?
It is for all of them?
Yes, and Yes.
This is all an act. Every single one of us, acting.
We act certain ways to express love because movies tell us that is how you express love.
We act as obedient and studious beings because that is the act of a student.
We act as a friend to those whom we surround ourselves,
altering a part of who we are every time to talk to someone.
When will we stop acting?
Is it possible?
Til death do us and our performance part,
and no, unless you have met death.
Acting, this is all an act.
I know it, you know it, they know it,
yet, we all pretend that it’s not.
To act is to exist.
To exist is to act.
I think the connection you make between existence and acting is a very important one. I like the way you phrase it at the end of your piece: “To act is to exist. To exist is to act.” You set this up, however, with the quotidian actions and decisions—picking out a dress, how to wear your hair. You talk about all the different roles we must play—the student, the friend. We play different roles for different situations. I really agree with this. You must act differently when talking to a professor than when talking to a friend; it is important to hold your body differently, use a different tone of voice, choose your words more carefully. You are a different character.
ReplyDeleteYour piece reminded me of when we were talking about Alden’s apartment in Manalansan’s Migrancy, Modernity, Mobility. We were discussing the juggling if multiple worlds, and whether you can separate those worlds from each other or if they blend and stick together. We talked about those worlds as all being suspended within a ball, like the many worlds in Alden’s apartment held together in a room. They do not mush together, but sit among each other. Another way I thought about these multiple worlds co-existing—and your poem really made me think about—is the idea of living in and acting in each world depending on the situation, on what the story called for. An actor puts on a persona, walks a certain way, talks a certain way depending on the role. It’s what you do to survive the different worlds you move between. You have to act. A little bit of yourself leaks into each role, making your characters unique, but you remain an actor, weaving through different worlds, different stories, putting on a mask in order to survive, to thrive.